Why Fondness and Admiration Are Essential for Relationship Therapy

Can Your Marriage Survive Infidelity? Steps to Rebuild Trust Together

Update Can Your Marriage Survive Infidelity? Understanding the JourneyInfidelity leaves a trail of emotional wreckage that can lead couples through some of their toughest challenges. The discovery of a spouse’s betrayal shatters trust and often makes partners question the possibility of healing. However, contrary to popular belief, many marriages have not only survived infidelity but have thrived afterwards.First, it’s essential to grasp the definition of infidelity. It isn’t a universal concept; it can manifest as physical cheating, emotional betrayal, or even online relationships. Each couple must define what infidelity means to them. Understanding this could lay the groundwork for healing and honesty.The Reasons Behind InfidelityInfidelity can happen in otherwise seemingly healthy relationships. Factors such as a lack of affection, emotional disconnect, communication breakdown, or even external stresses like deployments can contribute. Military families, in particular, often face unique challenges that test their marital strength. Long absences can create feelings of isolation, which might spur infidelity as an attempt to find intimacy or connection elsewhere.Rebuilding Trust: The Foundation of HealingThe first step toward healing involves recognizing the need for open communication. As Dr. Shirley Glass highlights, emotional trauma can result from betrayal, sometimes leading to symptoms akin to PTSD. For military families, add challenges like PTSD from deployment, and the situation can feel even more daunting. Both partners need to commit to restoring trust—this requires transparency, as well as emotional support from friends, family, or a therapist.Years Later: Distressed but DedicatedIt is crucial for both partners to assess their emotional state before deciding on the future of the marriage. Drs. John and Julie Gottman emphasize that healing is not a linear process; it's filled with waves of emotions. Partners might feel betrayed and angry one day and relieved and reconciliatory the next. Engaging in couples therapy has been instrumental for many to navigate this transition, moving beyond the betrayal toward a renewed commitment. Focusing on rebuilding intimacy is vital for military families, where physical distances can already strain connection.Moving Forward: New Skills for a New RelationshipUnderstanding the context of the affair and the relationship as a whole is equally important. While the person who strayed is accountable for their actions, the couple must examine their marriage to facilitate repair. Finding new ways to communicate, bonding, and addressing the needs of the family as a unit can propel the relationship into a healthier dynamic.Final Thoughts: Choose Reconciliation Over ResignationUltimately, both partners must make a conscious choice to recommit and leave the past behind. It’s a challenging path, but with dedication, many couples find that they re-establish a deeper connection forged in understanding and trust. Resources such as the Gottman relationship assessment can aid couples in gauging their relationship health and tailoring their recovery strategies.For military families wrestling with these issues, engage in conversations with your spouse about emotional needs and how you can support each other through such a tumultuous time. Every marriage has its crises, but how you respond to and address the cracks can dictate the future of your bond.