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February 12.2026
2 Minutes Read

Rekindle the Magic: The Role of Fondness and Admiration in Intimacy

Two men smiling, showing fondness and admiration in relationships, cozy living room.

Reviving Romance: Rekindling Fondness and Admiration

In relationships, the initial spark that ignites passion often dims over time. Couples frequently lament, "We used to be intimate all the time; I don’t know what happened!" This phenomenon, commonly referred to as the end of the honeymoon phase, is a reality many pairs face. As per renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman, this early phase—known as limerence—can’t last forever, but the subsequent fading of intimacy and passion can be addressed. It’s essential to understand that while feelings of love can remain constant, the expression of fondness and admiration plays a crucial role in maintaining a healthy romantic relationship.

Understanding the Love Ratio

One critical insight from Dr. Gottman's research is the concept of the "20:1 ratio"—for every negative interaction in a relationship, there need to be at least 20 positive interactions to keep the emotional bank full. This statistic surprises many couples and underscores the brain's inherent tendency to focus on negative experiences. Whether it's a hurt feeling or a missed connection, the effects of negativity are detrimental, potentially overshadowing the affection couples hold for one another if not balanced by numerous positive affirmations. If intimacy seems elusive, it might indicate that this ratio isn't being met in your interactions.

Strategies for Expressing Affection

The good news? There are numerous ways to revive those feelings of admiration and intimacy. Here are some practical tips:

  • Compliments Matter: A genuine compliment about specific traits can reaffirm your appreciation for your partner. Let them know about qualities like their kindness or sense of humor.
  • Thankfulness Goes a Long Way: Recognize and appreciate the everyday contributions of your partner, be it chores or emotional support.
  • Recollect Happy Memories: Sharing cherished memories can rekindle feelings of connection and intimacy, serving as a reminder of why you fell in love in the first place.
  • Physical Affection: Regular physical touch, such as hugs or hand-holding, creates an atmosphere of warmth and closeness, vital in a loving relationship.
  • Plan Quality Time: Planning outings or simple activities together shows your partner they are cherished and strengthens your bond.

By regularly practicing these expressions of fondness and admiration, couples can fortify their emotional connection. It’s about fostering an environment where love and respect thrive, ultimately paving the way for greater intimacy.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, re-establishing fondness and admiration in your relationship isn’t just beneficial; it is essential for a thriving partnership. The more intentional you can be in expressing love and appreciation, the more it will turn your relationship into a nurturing and joyous one.

Marriage & Relationship Support

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