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November 06.2025

2 Minutes Read

How High Sensitivity Shapes Relationships: Insights for Military Couples

Empathetic couple sitting together, showing high sensitivity in relationships.

Understanding High Sensitivity in Relationships

High sensitivity, referred to in psychological circles as Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), is a personality trait that affects approximately 20-30% of the population. Coined by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron in the 1990s, being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) means experiencing emotions more intensely and becoming easily overwhelmed in social situations. For the military community, understanding this trait can enhance relationships after deployments, given the nuanced interactions that arise during reintegration.

The Role of Sensitivity in Marriage

In marriages, especially in the military context, HSPs can present unique challenges. They may become easily stressed by arguments or conflicts, often requiring more downtime to process emotions. Communication techniques, such as the Gottman method of "Turning Towards" one another's bids for connection, become crucial. Pausing to engage with a partner’s emotional needs can transform misunderstandings into moments of intimacy.

Nurturing Connections with Emotional Intelligence

Being sensitive can foster a deep connection between partners because it heightens emotional intelligence and empathy. However, it’s a double-edged sword; while HSPs bring wisdom and understanding, they might also internalize their partner’s emotions, intensifying feelings of overwhelm. Marital support groups and couples therapy can provide tools for navigating these emotional landscapes effectively.

Creating Balance in Relationships

For military families, adjusting to civilian life can be tough, particularly after deployment. HSPs thrive in calm environments, so fostering routines that reduce chaos is vital. Couples can establish rituals that allow for emotional reset, such as quiet time after busy days together, which can prevent feelings of exhaustion and resentment.

Embrace High Sensitivity as a Strength

Instead of viewing high sensitivity as a challenge, recognize the profound strengths it brings to relationships. HSPs often excel in creative problem-solving and intuitive understanding of others’ feelings. When these qualities are acknowledged, they can contribute to a robust, loving partnership that withstands the stresses of military life.

For military couples facing the challenges of high sensitivity, seeking resources such as premarital counseling or relationship coaching can pave the way for a more fulfilling, emotionally intelligent partnership.

Marriage & Relationship Support

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How High Sensitivity Shapes Relationships: Insights for Military Couples

Understanding High Sensitivity in Relationships

The Role of Sensitivity in Marriage

Nurturing Connections with Emotional Intelligence

Creating Balance in Relationships

Embrace High Sensitivity as a Strength

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